Dealing With Criticism

In life, you are going to receive criticism (a lot) regardless of your age, gender, or accomplishments.

For me, when I became a mother that’s when I gained my most critics (Hey y’all). Everyone was giving me advice and sending me information. It became overwhelming. Especially, because all this advice was unsolicited. As someone who takes pride in making her own decisions (stubborn just a tad), I began to resent some people for trying to help me. I became defensive, which fostered stress over time.

I decided to take a step back and think about what was being said. This is what I came up with:

There are two types of criticism: positive and negative. Or I look at it as: helpful and hurtful criticism.

I want to address the fact that all criticism stings a bit. But, it’s important to recognized the difference between criticism that is genuine vs. insincere.

Typically, helpful criticism is designed to point out your flaws. But, it gives you a chance to be introspective. This enables you to see the “flaw” for what it really is. You have to determine if this is something detrimental to your life and worth changing in favor of something better. Helpful criticism promotes a healthy space for change.

Negative criticism is just the opposite. It is dismissive and off-putting. This type of criticism is an attempt to magnify your flaws.

When you receive negative criticism, it says more about a person’s own insecurities, than your own inadequacies.  Negative criticism has no constructive value. Some people live off of pointing out the faults of others. It makes them feel better about their own flaws. Do not entertain these people!

Don’t ever allow negativity to cause you to step out of you character.  There have been many times when I wanted to clapback and set a person straight for something they said to me (and I have), but I realized that doesn’t solve a thing. Here I am trying to work on myself, yet I still entertained people whose opinion didn’t matter. Backwards right? We all fall victim to negativity. It’s all about controlling how you react.

Look at criticism as a challenge. Either you can accept the challenge or let it defeat you. Red or Blue pill?

Accepting the challenge consist of internalizing the criticism and letting it shape you into a better person. On the other hand, allowing the challenge to defeat you means you let what was said knock you down.

Always accept the challenge. Whether the criticism be negative or positive you have the ability to perceive it how you want to!  Challenge yourself to channeling negativity energy into positive.  We can’t control what people say, but we can control how we internalize it. Learn to process your emotions more efficiently.

Remember that we are our own harshest critic. If someone says something to you that isn’t in alignment with how you perceive yourself, don’t let it affect you. Easier said than done. We’ve been conditioned are whole lives to think that words don’t hurt. When in reality, they do. You have to recondition yourself into learning how to process malign words.

At times, I struggle with it myself. It takes patience and discernment to decipher between positive and negative criticism.  Once you’re able to see the difference between the two, your whole perspective will change. You’ll be more open to personal growth and you won’t let the negative easily sway you. Criticism is a part of life. Learn to deal with it positively.

Take care of yourself love,

Ashley

 

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2 Comments

  1. I’ve dealt with the same as a new mother. Especially from older individuals. When I decided to breastfeed I received criticism from everyone but I didn’t care. I still receive criticism still for my choices like not having her eat cereal at 2 months because “she isn’t full” 🙄 But I had to realize I am the mom you know.

    1. I understand exactly where you’re coming from! I’m still breastfeeding as well, so I get the same criticism. Don’t let it discourage you! Like you said, you’re the mom and you make the decisions. Be firm in whatever decision you make for your child. Motherhood is a learning process, we all are bound to make mistakes. Keep being the best mama you can be!
      Thanks for reading love.

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